whynotu

wow i hate everything i do in my life. such as school. I have such a great hate for school now that i actually want to cry in the mornings. then i have work. i hate my job more than anything. sometimes i wish that i will fuck up really bad at work so that they will fire me cause i cant quit cause i need money but i cant get another job because i can only work weekends because track is starting. I hate track i havent like track since 8th grade. but i have to do it so that my mom will except me as a human being. she already hates me because i didnt do indoor track. you would think that it would all end after highschool but no 'm being forced to play soccer and do track in college. yeah thats right two sports. ask anyone in college if they have ever heard of that cause i know that i havent. so everyday is like a nightmare repeating itself and i just realize that its never going to end. i'll never be happy ever. i'm going to be working at victory's and running track and going to school for the rest of my life. its just going to be an everyday nightmare for the rest of my life. wow i sound like the biggest cry baby that you've ever heard. but nobody really understands the shit that i take everyday.

getting started

 

sarah looks high! lol

Its On!! 

look at how beautiful my creation is.

I'm so Happy! :-)

so i stayed home form school today and i'm going to hang out with Sarah Ball. Its going to be fun. were going to knit like little old ladies. The day is kind of boring so far cause i had to bring my brother to school so i've been up since 7:00. whatever its better then going to school. well i cut my own hair last night. i think that it looks pretty good. its not really that different form before.

well heres a pic of me skippen school. well not really cause the picture is old.

So me and Josh didnt have a valentines because we are poor but we are having are own valentines day today. I got him fruit of the loom underwear from k-mart. i dont think i'm getting anything but the home made card with candy glued to it that he gave me yesterday.

i cleaned my car today with sarah ball. oh man i havent seen the floor of my car since i cant even remember when. It feels great.

Then i came home and worked on this card for josh forever. Then he called me and said that he was going to take me out to dinner, and i had already went to wendy's with sarah, and he got mad........well i think that he is mad. But how was i supose to know that we are going out to dinner. A girls got to eat!!

he also asked me if i wanted to go grocery shopping with him. on my one day off thats the place i really want to be. GOD!! well i'm not that made about it. but still.

wow i'm hungry. i'm going to go to Applebees. yay!!!!! FOOD!!!!!

i just got home and well it was going pretty good today. i went to school and then i went snow bording and then i went to josh and hung out. then it happened i hit the wall it my drive way. thats right the thing that i have been coming in and out of my entire diving career. i'm the dumbest person that i've ever met. who hits the cornor of there drive way wall!!! who does that!!!! i feel so dumb. not only that on the way home i was saying to myself that i've never got in an acident before and then bam it happened. i distroyed my bumpper and bent my fender i told my dad that i would pay for it and he said that it was going to be about 2,000 dollars to fix it. to now i have this really ugly toyota car that looks like a little piece of shit!! omg i hate myself right now. i declare myself the worlds worse diver.i should get some sort of award for this. the worse car crash in the world. wow i really suck right now.

Well i went to see hide and seek today with Sarah Ball. lets just say that it sucked. it was just like secret window which also sucked. well moving on we went to la bella pizza which is really good its like a little piece of heaven right here in fitchburg but no one knows about it.

i've been thinking of getting a tatoo so i can be in the super cool kids club. but mine is going to kick everyone ass in half. its going to be so sick that when you see it u'll shit your pants cuz its that good. but i still dont really know what it is going to be but i have ideas and they are good but they would cost me a crap load of money. i wish i wasnt so poor. but whatever. well know i'm going to but a random picture just cuz in can.

 it's my puppy dog, max

so all this week i have work witch really sucks to begin with cause i hate my work everyone sucks there. the reason that is is because they are all people that ahve been working there for there whole lives or they are people that are going to work there their whole lives. that doesnt make me feel that good because i've been working there for about a year and a half now and it really sucks. i'm starting to think that i'm going to become one of those people that are going to be a victory lifer.

well moving on i have this fuckin stupid family tree project that i have to do and a shit load of homework and then i have to find time to eat. insead of doing that i'm letting the three friends that i have on this livejournal know that i have no time to do anything. wow i'm so lazy.

yeah so my hair is black now i dont really like it that much but whatever ive never died my hair before its alot darker than i thought it would be because everyone always tokd me my hair was pretty much black anyways. well who ever told me that they were wrong it wasnt.

 it doesnt look that much darker there because of the flash. but oh... is it dark

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell........... i had to go to work today at eight. thats right eight in the morning. thats right the A.M. well for most people that might mot be that big of a deal but my whole goal in life is to sleep as much as i can and take as many naps as possible. so i'm at work and its really crappy and then i'm told that we now have a vacation week and we get paid for five holidays that right five. and the best part is that we get to choose the holidays. hell, they dont even have to be a holiday. and you get paid for 4 hours on the holiday. even though i hate my job they do give us food a lot like pizza and chips and soda and sandwitches. i always and now i get holiday pay. not only that we get 15 min. breaks. wow hanafords kicked victory's ass in my book.

hey guess if this is the front or the back of my head. hmm????

tune is next time to find out the truth.........

i just wrote this whole long thing about how unhappy i am with my lifestyle and then acidently erased it. yeah it was tharaputic but now that i erased it all i think that it made it worse.and now that you read this and u have know idea why i'm unhappy u probably tink that i'm just a dumb stupid teenage girls. well you can just think that because i'm not going to explain again cause it took me around 15 minutes to type what i erased. well happy crappy snowday.

 

Isnt he the cutiest thing. Hes like a little teddy bear that you want to hug.

you might judge me because i really like cheese but you know what i dont really care. just because i like cheese, doesnt mean that you can judge me. ASSHOLES!!!!! jk i dont hate anyone. and to be honest i dont even like cheese all that much.